Kink / Leather / BDSM

 

Gay, Lesbian, Straight: Kink, Leather &/or BDSM for individuals & couples

Sex can serve many functions in a relationship, including communication, healing, release, pleasure, procreation, connection. What makes sex meaningful for each individual is different; and often even for the same person desire will manifest in various ways with different partners & at various times. For many people this includes some level of what mainstream society might consider fringe practices: kink, fetish play, BDSM.

Interest in these practices, and finding meaning in them, can range from a small part of one’s sexual expression to being a keystone of one’s identity; from a purely hedonistic experience to something akin to a sacred calling. Some people are drawn to what are called BDSM practices simply because they enjoy intense sensations, and acts that may feel like pain to others are pleasurable for them. Others enjoy dancing on that border between pleasure and pain, feeling the two interweave and transmute. The emotional and interactive aspects of submission and dominance can be immensely powerful. Yet these same practices may be shamed in some cultures and communities in our society.

From my perspective, any form of physical and sexual interaction between two consenting adults in good mental health deserves to be treated with respect and consideration. For people in the kink & BDSM communities it is imperative to find a therapist with whom to work who is knowledgeable and non-judgmental about their lifestyles. This is equally important for people who have urges to experiment or practice kink or BDSM and who may feel shame or guilt about their interests and desires. If you identify with this, you may have found it a challenge to find a therapist in order to address personal or relationship challenges that may or may not be interwoven with your individual sex expression.

I have over a decade of experience working with clients from the kink, leather, and BDSM communities, to build happier lives and to overcome the impacts of societal discrimination. This has included:

  • Releasing internalized judgments about sexual desires
  • Helping clients determine which desires felt healthy to them, & that they wanted to pursue, vs. those which they wanted to remain fantasies
  • Working with partners to negotiate and define agreements, including Master/slave & Dom/sub contracts
  • Helping partners negotiate and maintain agreements about sexual activity in and outside of the relationship, including monogamy, polyamory, and finding satisfaction in different types of sex outside the relationship
  • Working through typical relationship issues like communication, jealousy, or money that may have nothing to do with their sexual practices
  • Developing understanding about power in relationships and how sex practices may express and/or influence that

If you are into leather, kink, and/or BDSM, you may find it particularly important to work with a therapist who has experience with the issues you face, and who approaches them without judgment. If you are interested in the possibility of our working together, please call me for a free telephone interview. For more details, please see my experience and training.

 

Links related to Kink & BDSM Mental Health:

LBGT